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Hi-ya Webfriends!
After checking the calendar, I realize I have been writing this weekly WebLetter for a long time now, more than 12 and a half years. I can remember when the Web began, the nay-sayers were proclaiming it would cause it’s users to become isolated and non-social. Since then, the internet has enabled us to enjoy cheap long distance calls and social hangouts like Facebook (now more than 325 million users strong), Twitter, Myspace, and a host of others. As a result, people are finding more ways to belong then ever before. A Pew study released recently shows that, even though our circle of friends might be smaller, it’s not because of the internet. Matter of fact, there is more diversity in our friend group with the internet and cellphone, than without them. “We identified Internet use, and especially using social networks, contributes to having more diverse social networks,” said Keith Hampton, lead researcher for the report and an assistant professor of communication at the University of Pennsylvania. The story from the NY Times gives more details … http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/05/does-technology-reduce-social-isolation/?ref=technology
Matt Rosoff, an analyst with Directions on Microsoft reported that record label EMI this week announced that it will begin selling on-the-spot recordings of concerts. In his story, he says what we all think … It’s a no-brainer way for live acts to earn some extra cash and great for fans as well. Imagine having a copy of the concert you just attended. I’d pay a little extra for that, wouldn’t you? http://news.cnet.com/8301-13526_3-10392724-27.html?tag=newsEditorsPicksArea.0
What is the future for Skype? The internet phone service, owned by Ebay, is being sold with the originators getting a piece of the action. As the BBC points out, “unlike traditional mobile calls, which are transmitted over a cellular network, Skype turns your voice into data and sends it over the internet. Since being acquired (by Ebay), the number of registered Skype users has risen to 405 million from 53 million, though free user-to-user calls still dominate the service.” The full story is here … http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8347305.stm
I ran across a relatively new place called Deezer that provides an offering of music catalogues from some of the largest record labels and over a thousand independents for you to play on demand, and for free. The website and its artists make their money from advertising revenue and songs can be bought if you want to add them to your collection. See what you think … http://www.deezer.com/
I know I periodically bring up National Geographic as a site where I find interesting stories on subjects NG covers both by TV and the internet, but the newest look to the kid’s site is worth putting your youngin’s in front of as the content is laid out clearly and with bright colors. They can learn about people, places and animals through videos, photos, illustrations and text. There are fun educational games to be played, and projects and activities to be done away from the computer. http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/
As kids look for roll models, many look at celebrities. If only they learned less about debutantes and more about debt. The idea is not too far-fetched. The site Celebrity Calamity combines the two. It hosts an online game that engages players in money management. The game was created by Harvard’s financial manager in order to make fiscal responsibility fun. Users play the part of personal shoppers for free-spending celebrities. The objective is to obtain and use money to make demanding celebrities happy. http://www.celebritycalamity.com/
<===HuMoR===>
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, “I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!”
“IMPOSSIBLE!!” said the groom broom.
WE HAVEN’T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!”
(thanks, Taz)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, “I love my new garage-door opener.”
“I love mine too,” my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.
(thanks, Matt)
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While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an interview with the arresting officer. My first question: “Did you see the defendant at the scene?”
“Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered.
“Was the area well lit?”
“No. It was pretty dark.”
“Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned.
Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”
(thanks, Joanna)
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We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings: “Well, I’m bored. Let’s go brush our teeth.” Or, “I’ve got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth until I get back.”
(thanks, Brad)
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OK, so enjoy the sites and if you come across jokes worth spreading, send them along and I’ll post them and give you the credit (or the blame, as the case may be). Until next weekend, may God bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
Jim’s WebLetter
Hi-ya neighbors and friends!
This week, Blackberry released an update for their Storm phones. BlackBerry Storm – MR3 (5.0) Software Release has improved the performance of my Storm in so many ways, I have decided to hang on to the phone. Among the many improvements, faster response to clicks, and special effects commonly found in Apple iPhones. I did have to reinstall a few of my applications including Facebook, but when I did, FB integrated into the system to the point that, when I make calls to people in my Facebook group, their account picture shows on my phone while I talk to them. And that’s just one of the improved features on my Blackberry Facebook. Overall, there is greater intuitiveness with my phone. When I reinstalled my Google apps, Sync the program that links the Calendar, jumped into play and instantly updated my phone. And that Blackberry calendar is equally improved with slicker features. Overall, I have to say timing on the update was perfect. The new Storm 2 is due to be released in a few days with Wi-Fi and smoother applications, but I’m happy with this improved smartphone.
Some weeks Google has so many things going on, I could write a book. Take for instance a new layer that has been added to their Map system for real estate. When you bring up a map location, click the “More” button at the top of a map (near the satellite imagery or terrain maps buttons) and select real estate. Immediately, the available listings become visible on the map. Click any red “pin” and you’ll see the address, get driving directions, etc. Click the “more info” link to see all the information about the property. http://www.google.com/maps
Also this week, Google Voice now offers a lighter version of it’s call system for people who are willing to trade some features for the ability to use their existing numbers. If, like me, you already have a Google Voice account, you can add Google voicemail to any mobile phone you’ve linked to your account. Not yet using Google Voice? You can request an invite … it is totally worth a try. http://www.google.com/googlevoice/about.html
Have you ever booked a flight only to have the ticket price go down days after you purchased? Bing’s Travel site is like any other useful fare comparison site, but what’s different is they have a “Price Predictor”. This tool estimates by percentage if they think the ticket will be going up down, or if you’re going to get the better deal now. After you decide to purchase, it takes you directly to the ticket vendor so there is no extra fee. http://www.bing.com/travel
Last week I reported about YouTube streaming the U2 concert as they appeared in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. That broadcast netted 10 million streams. The replay that features good quality sound as well as video is available on the U2 Channel. http://www.youtube.com/user/U2official?feature=chclk
<===HuMoR===>
A letter I received from my son stationed in Baghdad:
Mom,
Yesterday I was part of a security detail for Kid Rock, Kellie Pickler, and comedian Lewis Black. This morning, I had breakfast with the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders. War is hell.
Johnny
(thanks, Donna … we all support our troops, it’s just funny when one of them writes home with something like this.)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
A three-year-old had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time his mom told him, she was every insistent. His response was, “Yes, Sir!” Since he was talking to his mother, it was not expected of him to call her “Sir”.
“You would say, ‘Yes Sir,’ to a man, I am a lady, and you would say ‘Yes Ma’am,’ to a lady,” Mom said.
To quiz him on his lesson, she then asked him, “What would you say to Daddy?”
“Yes Sir!” was the reply
“Then what would you say to Mama?”
“Yes, Ma’am!” he proudly answered.
“Good boy! Now what would you say to Grandma?”
He lit up and said, “Can I have a cookie?”
(thanks, Leslie)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I was the nurse caring for a couple’s newborn first child, a son, after his cesarean birth. Since the mother was still asleep under general anesthesia, we took our tiny charge directly to the newborn nursery to introduce him to his daddy.
While cuddling his son for the first time, he noticed the baby’s ears conspicuously standing out from his head. He expressed his concern that some kids might call his son names like “Dumbo.”
The pediatrician reassured the new dad that his son was healthy and the ears could be easily corrected during childhood. The father still worried about his wife’s reaction to those large protruding ears. “She doesn’t take things as easily as I do,” he worried.
By this time, the new mother was ready to meet her precious son. I placed the tiny bundle in his mother’s arms and eased the blanket back so that she could gaze upon her child for the first time.
She took one look at her baby’s face and looked to her husband and gasped, “Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!”
(thanks, Tony)
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When hiring new staff at the public library, the head librarian always asks applicants what sort of supervision they’d be most comfortable with.
One guy answered, “I’ve always thought Superman’s X-ray vision would be cool.”
(thanks, Joanna)
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That’s this week’s assortment of sites to see and jokes to share. Thanks for your time, and until next weekend, may God bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
jokes
Hi-ya Webfriends!
It’s Saturday and for me, it represents the “day after” as I had surgery yesterday to remove a skin cancer, the result of excessive exposure to the sun. This is my tenth surgery since we began discovering these lesions (most of which are carcinomas http://www.skincancer.org/Basal-Cell-Carcinoma/) coming up on my face, arms, and back. Once you have had surgery, you begin to look around at others who are regularly exposing themselves to the same rigor you once did and realize their fate may well result in the same. Last year, Forbes magazine did a study on the subject and noted that much of what we think in our culture as well as our family history has a lot to do with how we end up with skin cancer. Whether you’re like me, who’s background is from European bloodlines with fair-skin and light color hair or you’re one of those living in the world’s “skin cancer hot spots”, chances are you or someone you know will grow one or more variances of the disease. The end result is the same. The surgeries are no fun. They are time consuming, costly (thank goodness for insurance), and result in cutting, sewing and cauterizing the skin (I’m still trying to decide what I hate the most, sewing or the smell of my flesh burning). The alternative is, left untreated it will eventually cause severe skin disease and in many cases, death. The Forbes story reminds the reader to be smart about sun explosure and links to providing tips for protection.
I’ll be fine in a few days when I get the stitches out and mobility returns to the area of my surgery (this one was on my neck). But it again reminds me to be on the lookout for anything that may show in the future and to get it checked out as soon as I find it. Early prevention is the key.
http://www.forbes.com/2008/07/28/skin-cancer-hotspots-forbeslife-cx_avd_0728health.html
Turning to the World Wide Web, there are several things going on this week as Windows 7 is released and U2 is preparing to be televised on YouTube. This and other Web related things are featured in this week’s edition of JWL.
I’m waiting on my copy of Windows 7 as I have placed my order. Everything I am reading and viewing says that this is a positive upgrade from Vista and will likely be the operating system of choice among PC owners. Of course, W7 will also run on MAC, but Snow Leopard is the new system upgrade for the MAC, so I will imagine that Apple users will want to stick with their specific operating system. Meanwhile, a safer, more secure system with fewer bugs and a better task bar management system speaks volumes to me. http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windows-7/
Also, Sunday night 8:30 Pacific – 11:30 Eastern Irish rockers U2 will be doing a first, while in concert at the Rose Bowl, their performance will be shown live on YouTube. Their stage, dubbed “the claw” has to be one of the most incredible used. A visit to YouTube will give details of the concert and a quick search will show a listing of concert footage that’s been uploaded. The concerts in Wembley Stadium are probably some of the best. http://www.youtube.com
Also new this week, Facebook has added Live Feed as an option on the left side menu. Just click through to see what’s happening right now. As long as you remain logged into Facebook, you’ll continue to see posts and activity from your friends in real-time. You can edit what appears in this view by clicking “Edit Options” at the bottom of the home page. http;//www.facebook.com
Like to play with words? Visuwords is a fun thesaurus in visual graphs that is actually a dictionary as well as thesaurus. All you have to do is type in a word and it automatically thinks of meanings, alternatives and other ways you can find to creatively use words. If you can’t think of anything but you want to see this site in action then just click on the random button. And if you use Firefox, you can include Visuwords as a search tool. http://www.visuwords.com/
<===HuMoR===>
Office Dictionary
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing who’s to blame for a missed deadline or a failed project.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
Ohno Second: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a huge mistake.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Kids, Oppressive Mortgage.
00Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Treeware: Printed documentation or paperwork.
Xerox Subsidy: Free photocopies from one’s workplace.
(thanks, Brandy)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’ll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.
“That is amazing!” says the bartender and gives him a beer.
“If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?” The bartender agrees.
The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings.
The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer.
A man in a suit, who’s been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees.
“Are you nuts?” asks the bartender. “You could’ve made a fortune off that frog.”
“Can you keep a secret?” asks the man. “The hamster’s a ventriloquist.”
(thanks, CJ)
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In “Fellowship of the Rings,” what did Sauron say to Frodo?
“You’re a hard hobbit to break!”
(thanks, Reggie)
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I took a real estate client to a “handyman special.” The place was great, and we couldn’t understand why it was so cheap, until we turned on the water main and water gushed from the ceiling. Dripping wet, my client put a positive spin on the showing: “Nice house,” he said. “It’s even self-cleaning.”
(thanks, Joanna)
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That’s it for this week, friends and neighbors. Time to get ready for Upward Basketball at our Family Life Center. Live broadcast online begins at 8 this morning and you can watch from either www.FBFirst.net or www.ICanSee.TV. It’s fun watching the kids play B-ball.
Until next weekend, may God bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
Hi-ya friends and netneighbors!
Well, it’s a special Saturday morning here on the island as my son and his wife are getting married. Now before you do a double take, yes, they’re already married, but this is more of a formal, in front of all the family and friends – kind of wedding on the beach with reception to follow. Looks like they picked a perfect day for it as temperatures have dropped and by ceremony time should be in the mid 70’s.
Other things happening include the 13th Annual Car Show in downtown Fernandina with some really cool rides, sponsored by Amelia Cruisers. We’re gonna try to do the latter before the former to make it a full day. So before everyone gets up and gets motivated, I’m writing this to show you a few of the things I came across while working on the Web this week.
How safe are the Facebook applications you use? Many of you JWL readers are also Facebook page owners and like to take advantage of the applications that FB offers, in particular, you like to play games and take quizzes. It’s those apps, the ones who get you to include a lot of personal information, that can and do include viruses that farm your information and send it to the hacker. Best advice? Don’t do it. Facebook is a great way to keep up with friends, but it can also be a great way for hackers to steal your info and the info of your friends.
http://www.nytimes.com/external/readwriteweb/2009/10/16/16readwriteweb-how-safe-are-facebook-applications-57362.html
As I reported some months ago, mobility is reaching the television to smartphone market as TV stations are ramping up to begin broadcasting to cellphones. It comes with a fee, of course, but the idea of having your favorite TV stations with you anywhere you go is a pretty cool one. Now the next question is, can you stand to watch it on a tiny screen? http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/16/tv-stations-start-broadcasting-to-mobile-gadgets/?ref=technology
In this economy, it pays to price compare. Look for tips on good deals, where to find a price break, and when the good deals are available on a blog which has been compiled for us by Time magazine who has partnered with CNN. On the Cheapskate Blog, you will find good deals as discovered by folks who get paid to look and report. For instance, today I see that with a coupon code supplied, you can get $10 off a $50 or more purchase at Sears.com. See what other deals you can find … http://cheapskate.blogs.time.com/
Take a look at a picture (found on the link below) and your first reaction might be someone’s version of a suped-up tricycle. In reality, it’s Google’s way of getting imaging for it’s ever-changing Maps, Street View and Earth programs. Taking it off road … hey look. it’s Google on a trike! http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/10/16/no-thats-not-the-ice-cream-man-its-the-google-trike-taking-street-view-off-road/
<===HuMoR===>
A man returned from vacation feeling very ill. He went to see his doctor, and the doctor has him immediately rushed to the hospital for a range of tests. The man woke up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bedside was ringing. “This is your doctor,” said the voice on the other end. “We’ve reviewed the results of your tests and we’ve found you have a very nasty virus, which is extremely contagious.”
“Oh my gosh! What are you going to do, doctor?”
“We’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes and pita bread.”
“Will that cure me?”
“No, but it’s the only food we can slide under the door.”
(thanks, Terry)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
“Do you sing?”
“Of course I do.”
“What kind of music?”
“Aquapella.”
“Don’t you mean ‘a cappella’, singing without accompaniment?”
“Nope. I mean ‘aquapella,’ singing accompanied only by the water coming out of the shower head.”
(thanks, Patty)
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My husband is a car nut. That’s why I could appreciate the card he gave me on our fifth wedding anniversary.
It read “The last 72,000 miles of my life have been the best ever!”
(thanks, Cynthia … did that include oil and filter change?)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Few people outside the military know what a Navy Quartermaster does (several duties include the watch-to-watch navigation and the maintenance of nautical charts and navigational instruments as well as duties that used to be part of the Signalman rating: visual communications).
So during my aircraft carrier’s Family Day, I demonstrated a procedure called semaphore. I grabbed my flags and signaled an imaginary boat. When finished, I pointed to a little girl in front and asked, “Now do you know what I do?”
“Yes,” she answered. “You’re a cheerleader.”
(thanks, Kathy)
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That’s about the size of it this week, JWL readers. Have a great weekend and, may God bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
Jim’s WebLetter
Hi-ya friends!
This is a brief Webletter this week as I frankly have too many things
going on to be able to tell you everything I found over the past few
days. Of the many things going on around the Web, the sound of
Windows 7 ramping up is getting louder. On his blog, Personal
Technology, Walt Mossberg, Wall Street Journalist talks about and
shows you by video, of his testing over a 10 month period with a
number of different computers. His result as he put it, Windows 7 “is
a success” over Windows’ previous operating system, Vista.
http://ptech.allthingsd.com/20091007/a-windows-to-help-you-forget/
Among the improved features with W7 is security and networking. Does
this mean we won’t need an antivirus program, no. But it does mean
our information is more protected. That’s good news. When you visit
the Windows 7 website, you’re greeted with “Waiting is the hardest
part” because it’s not due to be released in it’s full glory until
October 22nd.
Once on the site, there is a link to help you find a PC that works for
you and works with W7. It contains a walk-through to give you all the
information you need to ensure you can move from your current system
into the new one.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows7/products/home?os=nonwin7
Next, Yahoo has been doing some interesting work lately with combining
the internet and televison to become the next thing after cable
broadcasting. Indeed, at Yahoo’s Open Hack Day 2009 in New York City,
the conversation was a collection of tweeting what you watch while
clicking on and bringing up a video or live event being shown on the
internet, connected to your TV. You can even imagine it all being
controlled by your cellphone as the remote control. Here’s the story
from Andrew Nusca & Jennifer Bergen on ZDNet.
http://blogs.zdnet.com/gadgetreviews/?p=8232
Here’s a TV with loads of things for parents of active children.
Activity TV has fun activities for kids with free video instructions
and printables. Crafts, Magic, Puppets, Music, Dance, and an
interesting page called Kidz Bop with on-demand music hits sung by
kids for kids. http://www.activitytv.com/reviews.aspx?actID=77
<===HuMoR===>
Every morning, one of the secretaries in our office opens the
newspaper and reads everyone’s horoscope aloud.
“Gwen,” said our boss finally, “you seem to be a normal, level headed
person. Do you really believe in astrology?”
“Of course not. You know how skeptical we Capricorns are.”
(thanks, Cal)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
When Dad’s satellite dish conked out, I found him on the phone with
the help desk. The TV set was pulled away from the wall, and he was
staring at the mass of tangled wires spilling out the back of it. He
looked absolutely overwhelmed.
“Tell you what I’m going to do,” Dad said to the technician. “I’m
going to hang up now, go to college for a couple of years, and then
call you back.”
(thanks, Joe)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and
bursts into her Grandpa’s room…
“Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “As soon as Grandma comes into
the room, make a noise like a frog!”
“What?” said her Grandpa.
“Make a noise like a frog – because Grandma said that as soon as you
croak, we’re all going to Disneyland”
(thanks, Rich)
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Since I was a new patient, I had to fill out an information form for
the doctor’s files. The nurse reading it over noticed my unusual name.
“How do you pronounce it?” she asked.
“Na-le-Y-ko,” I said, proud of my Ukrainian heritage.
“That sounds real nice,” she said, smiling.
“Yes, it is melodious,” I agreed.
“So,” she asked sweetly, “what part of Melodia is your family from?”
(thanks, Jeff)
=======================
And that’s the latest from my computer collective, Webfolks. Have a
great weekend and until next, may God bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
Hi-ya Webfriends! I hope everything’s going OK for you this week. Now it’s the weekend and time to take a few minutes and enjoy the wonders of the Web. Here are some of the weekly scans I came across.
Last night, I watched the final in the series on PBS about our nation’s national parks. Produced by award winner Ken Burns, it was an hour of reflection as I remember as a boy, visiting Yellow Stone. This incredible series packed with fabulous footage and narrated by some of the great Hollywood and motion picture stars is available on the PBS website. http://video.pbs.org/program/1072181584/
After watching the animated movies in 3-D at the theatre this year, watching television even in HD, seems to pale in comparison. Now, a report on BBC shows that Sony is behind the push for 3-D TV by the end of next year. Of course, not everyone will be in favor of the 3-D effect all the time, but the article does make for interesting reading. http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/technology/newsid_10000000/newsid_10001300/10001366.stm
A couple of weeks ago, I reported on Augmented Reality and what I believed is it’s future. This week, a story by John Biggs in TechCrunch entitled, “Avatar Toys Go Augmented Reality, Courtesy Of Mattel And Total Immersion” demonstrates how AR is coming to the toy store near you in the form of Avatar toys. http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/10/02/avatar-augmented-reality-toys-courtesy-of-mattel-and-total-immersion/
Meanwhile, Wikitude is an Augmented Reality application for Google Android. Augmented Reality in this case, takes virtual data, places it on your phone, and allows you to interact with it using your compass, camera, and GPS. The end result is the ability to see virtual items and information in the real world. Well, now Wikitude has made its debut on the iPhone. The free app is now available in the iTunes store … http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=329731243&mt=8
If you’re noticing your PC is running slower, it could be a need for updated drivers. Driver Agent automatically scans your computer and recommends and will install drivers that need updating. It’s a one-time thing unless you pay for a year’s worth of unlimited downloads. http://www.driveragent.com/index_b.php?mvt=b&promo=a
What is it about “One Hit Wonders” that make them so catchy? Most musicians rarely make it to the big time at all, and those that do are usually able to make careers out of it (or at least long enough to reach that elusive #2 hit). But One Hit Wonders are different. They shine brightly for a single moment of time, then burn out into oblivion. But if they’re lucky, their songs remain for eternity. Here’s a site that lists the artists and their song along with the year it was a hit.
http://www.onehitwondercentral.com/
<===HuMoR===>
OK, you may have heard this one before ….
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that you’re dog is dead, too.” The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black Labrador retriever. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”
“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man.
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.
(thanks, Fred)
+++++++++++++++++++++
A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.
“Don’t know,” the woman said.
He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rear view mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U-turn and drove up to them.
“This is my husband,” the old woman said. “He doesn’t know how to get to Des Moines either.”
(thanks, Mary)
+++++++++++++++++++++
Why Dogs Can’t Use Computers
1. He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
2. SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
3. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
4. Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
5. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.
6. The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
7. He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail”.
8. It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
9. The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
10. He can’t stick his head out of Windows.
(thanks, Frank)
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Short and sweet, that’s it for this weekend, WebLetter readers. I’m shooting the Upward Basketball games this morning. You can watch the kids play online at FBFirst.net.
Til next weekend, may God continue to bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
Hi-ya friends and neighbors!
There is an IRS Scam going around on emails … be warned not to click on the link. It releases a virus into your computer. The email appears to have been sent from Internal Revenue Service [no-reply@irs.gov] (which ofcourse it doesn’t) and the subject line reads “Notice of Underreported Income” The IRS email reads:
Taxpayer ID: reports-00000174073547US
Tax Type: INCOME TAX
Issue: Unreported/Underreported Income (Fraud Application)
Please review your tax statement on Internal Revenue Service (IRS) website (click on the link below):
Don’t click on the link. Just delete the email or Gmail users, click SPAM and get rid of the thing altogether. The IRS doesn’t send emails to people, they will either call or send mail (which is why the Postal Service will never go out of business!).
Google Wave, the highly anticipated real-time communication platform that will launch to the public next week. In order to take advantage of all that Wave has to offer, you must either download and install Google’s browser Chrome, install the Chrome Frame, which integrates into Internet Explorer or drop Microsoft’s browser altogether. Needless to say, Microsoft isn’t happy about that. But, I have been bouncing between Firefox and Chrome and find that both work better than IE 8 and, according to popular sources, are safer for accessing such places as bank accounts and credit card websites than Explorer. Once Wave has been released, I will report on my results of the new platform … should be interesting.
Last week, I gave a Kindle 2 to my wife for her birthday. An avid reader, she took to the Amazon.com reader like, well, “fish to water”. After reading the instructions, she went to Amazon.com and downloaded her first book. She is not a technophile, so the fact that she could handle herself with the Kindle tells me it’s a good idea for anyone who wants to find the perfect Christmas gift for the reader on their list. The average price for a downloadable book is $9.95 as opposed to purchasing a hardbound for $20 something bucks. And there are free book websites that support the Kindle format. My advice to the kids, family members and friends … purchase Amazon.com gift cards. The Kindle will hold up to 1500 books and that’s a library by anyone’s standards. http://www.amazon.com/
OK parents and grandparents, put your kids in front of the computer screen and send them to PBS KIDS Island. This site is designed for reading practice, from letter recognition to reading words and is created for kids 2 to 6 years old. The island is an amusement park filled with reading games where players work on reading skills to earn tickets to get prizes to decorate their tree house and to unlock new rides and games. Prizes also include printable coloring sheets and trading cards, and video clips from the various shows that can be watched on the tree house TV. The reading games have been collected from elsewhere on the PBS KIDS website, from family of reading-based tv shows including Sesame Street, Super WHY!, Word World, and Between the Lions. It’s fun for them and teaches them while they play … http://pbskids.org/read/
For the older kids in your home, MakeBeliefsComix.com allows users to create original comic strips by selecting characters and adding their own text. The site is geared toward children, and instructions for use are clear and simple, making it a fun and age-appropriate actitivy for kids 8 and up – although those as young as 5 could create comics with their parents’ help and have plenty of fun. Although the site does not currently store the comics users create, there is an option to print them; and users also can email comics, which offers a very original and personal way for kids to send an email greeting card to family and friends. Here’s a hint, if you know a short joke, use the comix to show it. http://www.makebeliefscomix.com/
<===HuMoR===>
For some reason, the bookstore clerk couldn’t get the computer to recognize my preferred customer card. Peering over her shoulder at the screen, I said, “There’s part of the problem. It shows my birth date as 12/30/1899.”
“That’s right,” my husband chimed in. “She was born in June, not December.”
(thanks, Mark)
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I feel inadequate when talking with a mechanic, so when my vehicle started making a strange noise, I sought help from a friend. A car nut, he told me how to explain the difficulty when I took it in for repair.
At the shop, I proudly recited, “The timing is off, and there are premature detonations, which may damage the valves.”
As I smugly glanced over the mechanic’s shoulder, I saw him write on his clipboard, “Lady says it makes a funny noise.”
(thanks, Pam)
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A Network Technician tells this user that IT is taking the network switch down, which will affect the user’s PC and printing connections for about half an hour.
Three minutes later, he sees the user pop her head out of her cubicle.
User: “Are you bringing anything else down?”
Tech: No, why?
User: “Because my coffee pot just went out.”
(thanks, Nancy)
+++++++++++++++++++++
On Father’s Day, a little boy decides to make his dad breakfast in bed. He makes scrambled eggs, toast and coffee. He brings it into his dad, hands him the cup of coffee and says,”Try it dad.”
The dad takes a sip and nearly passes out because it is so strong. The little boy asks,”How do you like it Dad?” The dad doesn’t want to hurt the little boy’s feelings so he says, ”This is….something else, I’ve never tasted coffee quite like this before, Son.” The little boy smiles from ear to ear. And says, ”Drink some more Pops.”
As the dad is drinking, he notices two army men in the bottom of the cup, and says,”Hey! Why did you put army men in here?”
The little boy again smiles and sings,”The Best Part Of Waking Up, Is SOLDIERS In Your Cup.”
(thanks, Henry)
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Well, that’s a wrap on this week’s WebLetter, friends. Have a great weekend … it’s Homecoming at First Baptist in Fernandina Beach as we are celebrating 150 years of service. You can watch it online at the website www.FBFirst.net.
Til next weekend, may God continue to bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
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Jim’s WebLetter is a weekly email newsletter compiled and sent by Jim Swaringen, webmaster, to subscribers who agree to receive the email. All information received upon subscription is held private and will never be sold to another source. To unsubscribe, simply send an email to jim@jimonline.com with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject line.
Hi-ya net neighbors and friends!
This week, Google released a new feature from their Google Labs that I have found to be invaluable. Imagine being able to read from a collection of 3000 magazines that are updated through the course of the day. You rifle through the selection with a click of the arrow keys or search for a story or section (my favorite is SCI/TECH) and get magazines with those stories. Click on the magazine image and it comes up full screen. Then if you want to view the entire magazine, click again. Done. It’s called Fast Flip and I have bookmarked this one on my top list of what I look at everyday. It even comes up on my phone and allows me to access magazines from wherever I am. http://fastflip.googlelabs.com/
If you own an IPhone, you still can’t get Google Voice on it because Apple and AT&T haven’t approved. It’s funny how you have thousands of applications available to you including some of the most useless things you would ever consider (i.e., “tickle me” and “phone saber” ??) but for something that allows for free calls, blocking unwanted calls, converting voice to text and storing the conversations online, and cheap calls to 200 international countries … well, why would ANYONE want that on their phone? My Blackberry has it and I think it’s the next best thing to crunchy peanut butter. http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/18/google-says-apple-flatly-rejected-voice-app-for-iphone/?ref=technology
I like finding music I enjoyed listening to and playing on the air back in my radio days. It’s fun hearing the songs you grew up with. As you know, the Web has several sources for music, from I-Tunes to YouTube. The thing is, if you want to locate and download the files and convert them to something you can listen to, it takes time. How about going to one site, typing in the song or artist and getting the results with one click? And how about creating a playlist online so you can access it anytime, anywhere and save your hard drive space? Fizy compiles audio from around the Net into a database from which you can create your own playlists. It’s fast and boasts a huge catalog. Simple profile pages allow you to not only create a playlist but share it. Then your Twitter or email friends can get a report of the songs you listened to. Oh, yea, it includes a shuffle function so you don’t always get the same songs played in the same order whenever you start your playlist. Just sign up and search. It’s free because the site is sponsored by Coca-cola. http://fizy.com/ Here’s my sample mini-playlist … http://jimonline.fizy.com/#default
Kate Russell of Webscape wrote … Installing the desktop of your dreams is only a few clicks away. This not only has an amazing assortment of styles and images for you to download, but it also works out all the dimensions and details for you. At Desktopnexus, browse the images by category from the galleries – there are more than 100,000 to choose from, so browsing them can be a journey in its own right! When you see an image you like, click the thumbnail to open it up, and then click Enlarge Wallpaper to see how it will look resized for your machine. http://www.desktopnexus.com/
Individuality certainly is important with this next Website. My son-in-law sent to me an address to a site where you can create your own handwriting font for use on your PC or Mac computer. And there is no software required. With fontcapture, simply print out, complete, and scan the font template. Remember that it’s still in beta and there has been an issue that they write about in their blog you’ll find on the Website. But for the most part, you should be able to just follow the easy to understand instructions and create a font in your own handwriting. The Website also gives you instructions on placing the font into your computer’s Fonts folder. Thanks, Rich … http://www.fontcapture.com/
<===HuMoR===>
While driving in the car with my son, I had an “oldies” radio station on. It played a song that I remembered from the 1960’s.
“You know, Ron, this song was on when I was in bed with a broken leg when I was young.”
“Gee, Mom, that’s too bad,” he replied. “You couldn’t even get up to turn it off.”
(thanks, Toni)
+++++++++++++++++++++
There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her 6 year-old son and finds him sobbing. “What’s the matter?” she asks.
“I’ve just figured out how to tie my shoes.”
“Well, Honey, that’s wonderful.” Being a wise mother, she recognized his victory in the struggle of autonomy versus doubt: “You’re growing up, but why are you crying?”
“Because,” he says, “now I’ll have to do it every day for the rest of my life.”
(thanks, Nancy)
+++++++++++++++++++++
A lady went to a pet shop.
“I’d like to buy two yellow canaries,” she told the owner.
“We don’t have any canaries, but we have these,” the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.
“That’s not what I’m looking for,” the lady stated.
But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, “Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren’t quite ripe yet.”
(thanks, Tim)
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Hymn #365
A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, ‘If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’
With even greater emphasis he said, ‘And if I had All the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’
And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he Said, ‘And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’
Sermon complete, he sat down.
The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, ‘For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365, ‘Shall We Gather at the River.’
(thanks, Frank)
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Have a great weekend, whether it’s sunny or rainy. Remember, it’s always balmy and warm on the internet. Until next weekend, may God continue to bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
Hi-ya Webfriends!
Have you heard of the term, “augmented reality”? We’ve all heard of virtual reality, but the new term is being used to show what the next generation of cell phones has been doing in Europe and Japan. Now, it’s being used in America. Todays JWL will dive into the uses of augmented reality and show some of it’s applications. So, settle back into your computer chair and let’s discover the best of the Web …
It is no surprise that the mobile Web is exploding right now. The use of Web-enabled cellphones is dominating the marketplace as IPhones and Blackberries along with Google’s own Android phone system are leading the way with the technology that allows you to do more than just make a phone call.
I have begun building mobile versions of Web sites because of the increased interest. Here are examples of the Isle of Eight Flags Shrimp Festival (http://www.shrimpfestival.com) and my own design company site (http://www.jimonline.com). When you use your computer to access the sites, you will find a more graphically enhanced site. Use your Web-enabled phone and you see a different, more basic “cell site” that provides information at your fingertips. A few enhancements include GPS coordinates and highlighted phone numbers that will activate your phone into placing calls at the click of the link. The idea is that mobility is becoming more important to us. Where we can’t always be at a computer work station, we can always carry a cellphone.
Augmented reality by definition in Wikipedia is a term for “a live direct or indirect view of a physical real-world environment whose elements are merged with, or augmented by virtual computer-generated imagery creating a mixed reality.” The addition of this layer to the world on your mobile device, has become a very hot trend this year. It is in everything from mobile apps to kids toys and provides additional abilities to provide information to the user at the touch of a button. This trend makes me think that “AR” will soon be talked about by everyone the way they used to talk about “social media” and “Web 2.0″. Watch this YouTube video to get an idea of what it can do. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b64_16K2e08
This example shows that by using an Augmented Reality browser in your cellphone, you can scan an area of the city you’re in and find housing that is for rent or sale and what sort of information is available on that housing including photos, contact information and maps.
In this video from GE, the “smart grid” demonstration uses a picture code on a piece of paper to create a 3-d image that you can play with and move around the paper’s surface. http://ge.ecomagination.com/smartgrid/?c_id=googaugreal&gclid=CMGT9b7565wCFVVj2god6RDmkQ#/augmented_reality
And in a more practical application, finding and tracking a satellite in orbit is shown on this video … http://dailymobile.se/2009/09/08/augmented-reality-demo-iphone-satellite-finder/
As you can see, AR, augmented reality is a toy, it’s a communication method, and it can be used to track devices. What other applications will come from this? Time will tell, but it’s sure that this forward-thinking application will be around for some time.
<===HuMoR===>
Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn’t. Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back.
The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. “Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?” he asked.
The inexperienced fisherman replied, “I only have a small frying pan.”
(thanks, Ronnie)
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A man is caught sitting at a make-shift campfire by a forest ranger, and to the ranger’s horror, the man is eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went something like this:
JUDGE: “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?”
MAN: “Yes I do. But if you let me argue my case, I’ll explain what happened.”
JUDGE: “Proceed.”
MAN: “I got lost in the woods. I hadn’t had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could maybe steal the fish. I caught up with the eagle who landed on a tree stump to eat the fish. I threw a stone toward the eagle hoping he would drop the fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little head, and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had happened, but figured that since I killed it I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground.”
JUDGE: “The court will take a recess while I consider your testimony.”
(15 minutes goes by and the judge returns.)
JUDGE: “Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you didn’t intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges.”
The Judge then leans over the bench and whispers: “If you don’t mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?”
MAN: “Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it is somewhere between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl.”
(thanks, Marie)
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A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail’s pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
(thanks, Henry)
+++++++++++++++++++++
A teenager who had just received her learner’s permit for driving offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.
“Thank you!” said the mother as she got out of the car and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Anytime,” her daughter replied.
As the mother closed the door she said, “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to God.”
(thanks, Jenny)
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And that’s this week’s WebLetter friends and neighbors. Have a great weekend and until next, God bless you and keep you safe.
c-ya!
Jim
Jim’s WebLetter
Discover the best of the Web
C-my-site at www.jimonline.com
